089: Don’t Give Advice, Create Connection

July 25, 2021 00:16:52
089: Don’t Give Advice, Create Connection
Inner Work with Steli Efti
089: Don’t Give Advice, Create Connection

Jul 25 2021 | 00:16:52

/

Show Notes

I recently had a conversation with a friend who's been through a couple of challenging months. And as he shared his struggles with me, my initial response was to share how I in the past had overcome struggles similar to the one he had described. And now, the conversation was going well... but it wasn't really flowing. We weren't connecting as friends. It was more like a coaching session—but that wasn't the point of our conversation. I'm not his coach, he's not my mentee. We're friends. And as I noticed this, I switched gears. Rather than trying to present him solutions, I started to just share some of my own recent struggles. And that instantly changed the dynamic of our conversation. Now we were connecting as friends, just shooting the shit, laughing, having a great time—and funny enough, the impact of our conversation was probably much deeper than if we'd have continued down the "coaching call" path.

Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/advice-vs-connection/ 

Connect with me:

https://steliefti.com 

https://twitter.com/steli 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/

 

Other Episodes

Episode 0

May 26, 2021 00:32:46
Episode Cover

076: Who Is My Inner Critic?

I'm highly self-critical by nature, often to a fault. A good amount of the inner work I've been doing over the past 2 years...

Listen

Episode 0

June 29, 2021 00:22:30
Episode Cover

083: The Beautiful Wisdom of Anna Karenina's Derailing Marriage

I've been reading Tolstoy's Anna Karenina recently, and absolutely love this book for the sharpness with which he looks at relationships, and how people...

Listen

Episode 0

June 03, 2021 00:30:04
Episode Cover

080: Make Your Inner Critic Part of Your Creative Practice

Whenever you pour your heart into a creative endeavor, those critical thoughts can derail you. "You can't do this." "This isn't good enough." "Who...

Listen